Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
