That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
