it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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