I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
