Got a toothbrush?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize