I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
