Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i was born a porn star she said
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
