Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
