I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
