Bisexual people are plain selfish.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
