I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
