I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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