his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
