You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
