so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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