I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
