ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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