i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
