I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
