Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize