don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
