Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
