Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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