I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize