I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
