I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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