are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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