You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Randomize
