the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
