What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
