Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
