you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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