You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
