I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
