I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
