forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
