Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
