reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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