Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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