I'm drive I can fine osifer
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
