He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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