Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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