some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
