my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize