I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
