how hairy? two words: wookie tits
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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