i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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