eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Is it penis luge time yet?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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