Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
