Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i think i just lost a toe
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
