I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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