We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
