I wish I could teleport
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
there was a trapeze. enough said
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
