So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
