a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I deserve this hangover.
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