Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
