I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You ruined the universe
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
