Im at strip club and am horny
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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