I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
