She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
