i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
