You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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