Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
