so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
