I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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