Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
