fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
