Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
