so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
handjob tips. give me some.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
