I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
