The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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