I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
where are you?
Hypothermia
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
