Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize